Shaving Poems

This going to be definitely the most random blog post so far. The other day we just Googled random stuff about razors, and occasionally stumbled on these websites about poems, (poetrysoup.com/poems/, http://hellopoetry.com/words/6619/shaving/poems/) or more specifically - shaving poems. We picked up the best parts of the best poems for you:

1. “Close Shave” by Lindsey Laurey.

Mick picked up this wooden ball and fingers rolled it with his thumb,

“Just place this in your mouth between your left cheek and your gum,

I’ll pass the razor ‘round the contours and when yer feel yer cheek,

yer won’t even feel the stubble if yer don’t shave fer a week”.

2. “The Art of Shaving” by Robert L. Hinshaw.

“Since time immemorial, or so I've heared,

Mankind has struggled to tame his beard.

Was it Adam who imposed upon us this atrocious curse?

(I reckon I could sport a beard but to that I am averse.)

 

I've scraped and nicked my mug fer nigh on four-score years,

So I will share my shaving experience to educate my peers.

First, splash a generous supply of soapy water on yer kisser,

So as to arouse the attention of each and every whisker.

Apply a liberal amount of Burma Shave to ease the stress,

When with that wicked razor blade yer jowls you do caress.

 

Twist yer schnoz at an acute angle in order to shave below the nose,

Taking care not to nick yer double chins and any problems that may pose.

Once this onerous task is done, use toilet tissue to heal the bloody nicks,

Then apply a liberal amount of Old Spice to really impress the chicks!

3. “Shave” by William Barry.

“There was once a beast,

who shaved the insecurities

of our society

with a blade of ugly

that was too painful to see

Slight cuts made our eyes bleed,

and his aftershave was our precious need”.

4. “Shaving” by Richard j Heby.

“Lucky boy

gets to rip his face off

everyday

with a razor”.

(-What?!)

5. “Men - don't watch the rear view mirror” by John Wulf.

“A man busy shaving from ear to ear

saw in the mirror his wife’s lovely rear

her morning shower’s distracting powers

caused wounds that should heal by next year”.

 

Have a great weekend! -Jiri H. & Sami M.


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